Kelis Welcomes Birth of Second Son

Kelis and Mike Mora enjoying stroll in 2014

The R&B artist that "brought all the boys to the yard" has brought her second son into the world.

R&B artist, chef and author Kelis has given birth to her second son.

E! News reported the 36-year-old welcomed a healthy baby boy in November, and his name is Shepard.

"E! News hasn't revealed the father, but after one minutes of investigating her Instagram  I found her Colombian baby daddy- real estate agent Mike Mora, whom is one of two people she follows. 

The two reportedly got married around Thanksgiving 2014 in a secret ceremony. 

Kelis is the ex-wife of rap artist Nasir "Nas" Jones, the two share a 6 -year-old son Knight Jones. Kelis is known for her hit songs "Milkshake," "Bossy," and  "Caught Out There."

LOVE AND HIP HOP DRAMA: Dear Ms. Wallace

As I was googling these random new cast members (half I have never heard of) I came across the on-going love triangle with Peter Gunz - Tara Wallace and Amina "Buddafly" Pankey.

Now being a female who has had a similar love triangle, I can understand this going on for maybe a year or even two. However, this will be the 3rd season with this nonsense. 

Anyway, it has come to light that Tara Wallace is allegedly pregnant by Peter Gunz and Looks like she is trying to keep the secret on mute while hiding her tummy with a jacket from the Mute shop - such a coincidence lol.

Of course while getting backlash from the public she posted:

So, i decided to write Tara a letter.

Dear, Ms. Tara Wallace,

Let me interject my lovely thoughts on this triangle.

 1) I will and can give my opinion since I watch the show, which gives it ratings which get you paid. If there weren't people watching hunny your bills wouldn't get paid!!!

2) I never knew a female who was so pretty, seemed as if she had some sense but yet keeps making a fool out of herself for a check. I mean where is the SELF RESPECT? Your man of 12 years cheated on you. got married for love or legal issues--- whatever, had a baby on you, still flaunting around with his "legal wife," while you- instead of ending the relationship you continually open your legs to it. Now,there are plenty of insecure women like yourself that go through this daily, but I don't know any that would repeatedly go on TV or wanna be in the spotlight so the world could see how dumb they are.

3) When will you - Ms. Tara Wallace love yourself enough to let go of that trash? I'm not blogging to trash you, but wondering when will you see the light? I love setting people up. Let me help you after you have this alleged baby you are carrying. Let me take you to the other side of life, called HAPPINESS, you deserve it. Hit me up, I got you.

Mona Scott Young is the one capitalizing off your life drama, not making you as a black women, black mother look classy but rather more like ratchet. I did watch for the entertainment but I have a daughter and this is the type of entertainment I don't want her thinking is "COOL." This isn't what real life is. Making one rich because they played a fool for the world. That's why they have comedians. 

That is all.

Best regards,

Leena Speaks 

CHEATING, CHEATERS AND THE NON CHEATERS

What comes to mind when someone tells you they want to be in a relationship with you?

You are most likely on cloud 9, thinking maybe you found your prince or princess you can build a home with.Someone that is going to be committed to you.
Adorn you with love emotionally, physically and mentally.
Be faithful to you.
Trust you.
Eventually,you want to have a family and have that person marry you til death do you part. (Marriage is no longer a priority in society so I guess playing house is an equivalent).

Regardless of what it is, at the end of the day the majority of us seek happiness and that happiness consist of being with someone you love and you guys being in love with each other.

However, cheating has a major part in relationships today. You don't know who to trust.

Today it is hard for a woman and men to gain happiness, when many of them have issues with trust due to past deceptions. I took some time out to look into what men, women, the bible and what so called experts say. Take a few minutes and see what is on their minds regarding cheating.


WHAT THE MEN HAVE TO SAY:

I have cheated. There is a high rate of cheating in black and Hispanic communities.   Black and Hispanic women walk around with numerous baby daddy's then go on welfare, then the children repeat the cycle. You go to their neighborhoods and you see woman fighting another female because her 3rd baby daddy had his 5th kid with another chick whom he his the 6th baby daddy to. If you go on

social media you see these females belittle each other. However, at the end of they day these women are trash, they look stupid so of course these are the dummies that get cheated on. Who takes chicks like that serious, all they are worth is seeing a good fight between for good entertainment. While they are fighting the man is taking the side of one of them but the other will screw him later on that day or the next, or he has another chick he is screwing all together while the other two fools are fighting in the street. Then they say, all men cheat. Well, no they don't. We cheat on the weak, insecure, needy females. The ones who act as if they are so hard, but emotionally they are weak. I have cheated but not on all my females. Why? Some I liked but they were just not wife able material, but they brought me things, fed me, housed me, gave good sexual pleasure and"loved me," but those chicks ain't even love themselves. They seemed as if they loved me more than their kids, there fatherless kids mind you. There are plenty in the white community as well but it's like a fashion statement in urban communities.  This is the world we leave in... it is open season on black and Hispanic vagina everyday. Let me clarify though not all black and Hispanic women because I have had blissful relationships with many I didn't cheat on but those were the classy females that had either one child or none, who had their own money, who were secure with themselves, beautiful confident female, who did not indulge in drama.
 -Anonymous 34

  

 

I've never cheated. I feel like if you decide to get into a relationship with someone you're making a commitment to be exclusive with them. All men don't cheat. My father until the day he died NEVER once cheated on my mother. He was with her until death did them part, even after she passed away he didn't want anyone else. She was his heart. I guess that is where I get it from. Besides, who wants to lie? That's added stress. You have to keep track of what you did with whom and what you said to each one, I’m not for that. I dedicate myself to the one I’m with. Call me a punk, but I believe in loyalty on both ends. Last reason I don't cheat and the most important is because I don't want it done to me.

 -35 year old, male. 

  Yes, I have cheated before, to be honest I think all people cheat, because you can't stay attracted to just one person your whole life, it's unnatural, to be with one person forever, and the person you

once loved isn't the same as they once were. Also the thrill of sexing something new out drives the urge to go home to the old. To be honest I am not sure if I cheated on all my women, but most of them yes. The answer to whether or not it is right or wrong lies in the eyes of the person doing it. Wrong morally: Yes. But as a person who sees the world for what it is, who can morally judge anyone? I feel

the comment all men cheat is true, as do all women on some level we all cheat, whether it's flirting, or entertaining someones advance towards you. Whether you act on it or not. The thought itself can be considered cheating.

 -40 year old, male 

  Yes I've cheated before and the reason was because she didn't love me and she cheated 1st, so instead of just breaking up, I wanted revenge. It is never right to cheat. I have not cheated on every girl I've been with. The statement that every man cheats is very wrong, for one it generalizes a whole category of men and two there is no evidence to back that up. I've seen and know very faithful men.

 -38 year old Male

It was important to ask men the key statement: "Do all men cheat, and if they say they don't they are lying?" I just wanted their point of view, since most men and women believe it to be true. However, one of the gentlemen I interviewed raised the question "Does every black woman wear weaves?"

We all know a vast majority do but definitely not all. Same with cheating, a majority of the men may cheat or have cheated, doesn't mean all men do.

I cheated yes, at a point where I felt unappreciated. No, I don't cheat on every woman. I feel it’s wrong, and it bothered me after I did it in past. In the past, I didn't care about whether she loved me; I was ready for it to end. I believe in loyalty. 

-Male in his early 40's  

 I have cheated in the past and I add that up to be inexperienced in relationships. Knowing what I want now, cheating would be less likely. I am older and I want kids and a marriage.
-39 year old male  

What a serial cheater had to say:

Yes, I have  cheated. I love girls too much to be bored with one. I cheated in a relationship because at the time I wanted a girl I could constantly have sex with. Yes, I've cheated on every girl I've been with. I do think its wrong but sometimes a sexual craving can be a painful.
Me: If you wanted a girl to constantly have sex with why waste your time to be in a relationship at all? 
The girls always push for it. 
-33 year old, male

Another serial cheater added some more depth and brought culture into it: 

Men cheat because of:
1) Desire they have for female. 
2) It's not frowned upon by his culture/family and
3) Ego.
I have cheated. I cheated for all three reasons at one point or another in my life but the main reason I have to say had to be for desire. The fact that a woman that I really felt attracted to give me attention and I had a possibility to have sexual intercourse with her was an amazing thought. It's the same type of attraction towards a celebrity. You have to understand that a cheater always feels like he's never going to get caught. He's never truly trying to hurt his significant other. I have to say I have cheated on every female I have been with. Do I think is right NO. At the moment of a man committing an act of cheating he is only thinking about him and how this is making him happy but at you get older some not all realize that it's a wrong way of thinking. I have actually learned that but it took time. Man and woman learn different and for a man is about burning levels.

Me: So a man is willing to lose the person they love and there home for desire?

Believe it or not yes, I mean they don't think they going to get caught I had a friend who use to tell me I'm only as faithful as my options. I would never forget that statement. The moment a man thinks about his wife the odds of him doing it is small. The Spanish community is big on cheating...it kind of looks okay until it's done to you if you know what I mean. 

-A Dominican male in his early 30’s 

However, this is what another Dominican male in his mid 30's had to say:

Yes, I have cheated due to:

1). Uncertainty, not fully sure if the person I was with is the right one for me. 

2).Temptation and not being strong enough to just reject other females.

3). You don't think about the consequences. 

When cheating you think about just never getting caught.

No, I do not think cheating is right and I don't agree with that statement, "all men cheat."

There are men who have never cheated but most women are attracted to guys who are outspoken and the life of the party which are usually the ones that cheat. Not all men lie I think it depends on their upbringing and if they had positive male role models.I don't agree with it being a cultural thing. I could tell you that men in general are all different no matter what the race is.I know all types of men in different races and I can break it down to different categories. I was the type of man that didn't know how to be a man , being that I didn't have a make role model I had to find out what is right or wrong. Usually these lessons don't come without experiences. I'm order for me to fully understand the consequences of cheating was to be on the other side of it. That's the only way I fully understood how my actions hurt others. Now I can tell you that most men who cheat don't think about the effect that it causes. Now there are many reasons why anyone cheats.. For me these are the reasons:

1 missing something in themselves, so they seek that in others who would provide it. 

2. Sexually not satisfied and does not know how to address their partner 

3 does not take their partner serious and looks for another partner while still in a relationship. 

There are great faithful men out there... Out of ten men I know I could honestly say 3 are cheaters. The common factor of these cheaters are low self esteem, superficial search ( looking for what is attractive from everyone) they need validation from females need to feel loved and needed so they go wherever that is given. There are men who believe that it is natural to cheat but it's one-sided they don't want to be cheated on tho, which then makes it a control and selfish thing. There are men who don't feel attracted to their partner but for any reason stay in that situation because " it's the right thing to do " and stay away to find what they are attracted to. But I can say that men and women cheat for similar reasons. Now men lust just as much as females the only difference is that if the opportunity may happen when would think about their relationship and most men if they don't know how it feels to be cheated on would not think about their relationship. They would think about not getting caught. 
-36 Year old Dominican male

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY: 

We are in a world where morals are almost extinct, but there are some that actually take God and his word serious and these are the scriptures that they keep in mind. Many, today like to sugar coat, make excuses, but there are really two ways: The ways of the world or ways of the word, says a young christian female. 

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
"For this is the will of GOD that you should be holy and abstain from sexual immorality. Each one of you should know how to control his own body in holiness and honor not with greedy, uncontrollable sexual passion like the nations have that do not know God." - New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures 

"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God." -KJV

1 Corinthians 7:9 

"But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be inflamed with passion."

-New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures

So the bible says we should know how to control our own body, that something naturally we can do but that is only if YOU WANT and CHOOSE TO. 

WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY: 

Psychiatrist Gail Saltz, MD quoted from Cosmopolitan Magazine says:

"Some men cheat to avoid real intimacy, so they can distance themselves from their wife or girlfriend by cheating on her, this way they can't get hurt. Some are unfaithful because they want control and power in the relationship and cheating puts the ball in their court. 

 Sex Expert Emily Morse said: "When there is a lack of intimacy in relationships, men feel the need to cheat rather than talk to their partner. Some men crave newness again and go elsewhere to find." 
she added: " Some men are just plain weak. They give into a sexual affair because the opportunity presented itself and they weren't strong enough to say NO! 

And according to Dr Saltz: No all cheaters are repeat offenders, but can be.

For example: I know a couple that has been married 45 years they have 6 children together but he has 4 children with 4 different women outside of the marriage with the youngest being 4. Now, the wife says "Yes, I know he cheats and has had other kids, but I love him and I put to much into this relationship to let him go." With that being said, she is unknowingly letting him repeat and obviously he knows she isn't leaving, she has put to much into the relationship . Her husband gets can have his cake and eat it too. 
She is not alone, there are plenty of women who think like this. However, I know females who had done the same thing got pregnant by another man and the man stayed with her, but I don't know any man who would allow it to be done 4 times and stay. 

THE ANSWER TO CHEATING FROM A COMEDIANS POINT OF VIEW:

Comedian, Patrice O'neal broke down "his take" on cheating:

  
Can't say I agreed fully with Patrice, but many women, yes YOU have been that fish and the most truthful thing I can agree with, is when he said:  "Woman want to make a man give them love with the same passion that she gives pussy."

Speaking from my experience I have been that women and I'm not alone.

WHAT THE WOMEN SAY:

With so many women being hurt by a man cheating on them they feel as if all men cheat. It's more of a trust issue , that's why women feel like all men cheat.

-34 year old GA

I can't say that they ALL do but far too many of them do.

-34 year old

Not all men... there are some men who see no reason once they find the woman who completes them. -Shanna Banks 35, NJ

Most yes, but not all. Have they cheated in their lifetime yes but some give it up. Guess once they meet someone that changes their whole perspective. If they say they don't I'll be a little iffy. I can only know and make sure my man isn't.

- Sandra, 29

I don't think all men cheat and if they say they don't,it just depends on how well I can judge their character by determining if their lying or not.

- Candace, NC

All men cheat and all lie. Point Blank Period. They ain't sh*t.

-27 female

I think the new generation cheat 9/10 times. With the older generation some cheat and some don't and won't. Today, Girls are nasty and don't give a fuck, so really is it cheating when the girl allows him to do what he is doing?

-Blue, 40

I believe at one point they all will. We are very much stronger than they are. I respect the men in the truth because they APPEAR to be strong, but deep Inside, I trust no man. When they get weak, they fuck up.I get weak and get extra powerful after.
-34 year old, FL

I do not think that all men cheat. And many do lie but there are still good guys out there that mean what they say!!
-37 year old

I think all men cheat weather if is a kiss, oral, etc. sooner or later they always give in
-35 year old

I do not think all men cheat. I'm the one that believes you don't until I find out otherwise . I can't live off of what the masses think, that that would be like us saying we don't and someone saying you and I are cheaters and don't know nothing, just going off of what the hell they heard.
-EC, Georgia

Just as there are faithful men, there are females that still believe and know there are good men left, some are those I interviewed earlier.

THE MARRIED MAN:

Speaking to one married, he said: Cheating as I see it, beyond nature, falls between 3 conscious factors:

1). Happiness 2). Options and 3).Willpower

What is happiness?

Happiness is the one thing in life we all want to achieve and nothing is comparable to the feeling it brings. It is joy; a pleasurable experience, it is good fortune, felicity.

options?
The power or right to choose. Freedom of choice, something than can be chosen

Willpower?
An energetic determination. If you love anyone Willpower will be your best friend. A determination like no other to love and be faithful to the person you want to be with.

THE CONCLUSION:
When going into a relationship, there are a lot of factors that are involved. Mostly you have to be mentally ready and be a person of strong will. Speaking to a few men, not all men cheat. There are actually men that have values. Most  men, however are weak.So if a female is weak and insecure and her man is weak, they will have cheating issues for sure. We know a weak, distracted individual can't build a home, it take those who are strong, with willpower, confidence and patient to make sure every brick is laid down properly and to make sure that home isn't quick to crumble through any storm. Every, man who believes in God, prays to be able to complete the job and get home safely to his family. These are the key elements when building a solid relationship. Just because a worker put hard labor into a home that doesn't have solid foundation he can't keep trying to build and say: I put hard work into it, I can't give up. He will constantly fail and  will be simply wasting his time as many today seem to do. 

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATL: My Input on Season 8 Episode 1

After watching the first episode of Season 8 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta I can easily see a lot of flames brewing. I love my Ratchet Sunday TV on BRAVO, so I can't wait to see the fires that will be set off. 

In the meantime, let's start off with Porsha Williams. She has totally grew into a new woman since her divorce. I was actually loving this new fiery woman, but uhhhh seeing her indulging herself on this younger non-attractive football player who she says: "He is so into me, and wants to really get to know me as a person." Meanwhile, the clip shows his hands are getting to know her and it was more physical than personal, if you know what I mean. Then they head to the bedroom, should I say more. Lol.

Cynthia Bailey is still not a story line favorite in my eyes but I guess the video of Peter Thomas slightly rubbing across a females chest gives her a story line some excitement... I guess. Despite the fact in my opinion they are making something so little into something so big, and with the help of Kenya and Melanie (Cynthia's sister who is telling all the business) it will really gets blown out of proportion. When they have a actual video of Peter kissing or actually rubbing on someones sacred parts then we can really boost their story-line.  

Kenya and Sheree Whitfield. Boy O' Boy. 

Sheree has returned this season and makes appearance at Cynthia Bailey's Eyewear launch party. Everything was running smoothly when she appeared until The Queen Of: I'm So Innocent but I Lovessss to Start Drama Kenya comes and starts throwing shade early. We all know, for all those who are fans and take watching RHOA serious, Sheree has had some financial issues and we know she hasn't finished her house from a few seasons back. We know Kenya has had her a renting issues in the past and in this episode she buys a uninhabitable home which she plans to make into Moore Manor. Anyway, she apparently will be Sheree's "neighbor" and was speaking to the other neighbors about Sheree's home which she conveniently brought up at Cynthia's event. Obviously, Kenya took the spotlight off Cynthia and on to herself trying to go in on Sheree. Kenya needs to worry about herself, which I see it is very hard for her to do!!! Maybe that's why she doesn't have a man she wishes for, or the children she yearns etc. etc. etc., all because she can't, her focus is on starting drama and worrying about other people. That's sad. 

Sheree said on her BRAVO blog:

Isn't this the same girl that screams, “Don't come for me unless I send for you?” Well, I don't recall sending for that package. Truth be told, what Kenya thinks about me is none of my business. However, let's be clear on a few things... Let me first welcome you, Kenya, to "MY neighborhood"! I've been in "the neighborhood" for fifteen years and counting. Not sure what so-called "neighbors" Kenya spoke to about me, but what she should have discussed with them was the house she purchased that everyone in "the neighborhood" knows to steer clear of! Now as a smart business woman, instead of being all up in someone else's business, she should have inquired about the home she purchased in the flood plain. She should have asked the so-called neighbors, “Is my house really sinking off the back hill? What should I do about this cracked foundation? How long has all of this mold been here? It's everywhere! How many floods can and have this house sustained? Should I keep scuba gear on deck? Why have there been so many buyers in the last year or two? Should I just start from scratch and tear this down? How will my guest get down my driveway without injuring themselves? Should I take Shereè some cookies? I heard she likes chocolate chip cookies!” I could go on, but no need, I'm sure you get the point. There are so many other questions or conversations that should have been had with the so-called "neighbors"! Girl, bye.

Sheree has won this round, since all her points all valid, regardless if she is not in her home yet (I had to throw that in there for the Sheree Hater's.)! By the way I'm glad to see Sheree back.

Let's save Phaedra and Kandi for after tonight's episode. I'm ready for the tea about the money Phaedra owes Todd, which shouldn't be a problem to pay since she has 3/4 high paying jobs. Also, Kim Fields will make her appearance tonight, so much to look forward to while watching. What would I do without my ratchet TV? I really don't know, lol.

We As Black Females Have to Do Better!!!

So I'm sitting here at work on a Sunday. Thinking about life and all that matters to  me.

I have found being a female of color in today's society is a hard. 
The reason is because of how some black females represent themselves.

I just had a discussion with a Spaniard and she and I was very much so on the same page.
A Black, mixed, Latina or Caribbean female can say "I'm different, I don't act like those girls ("hood" females) or I would never do that."

But guess what? Nobody cares, your skin is dark and that's all they see. 

In today's society the majority of females of color are having babies without being married, have 2-5 if not more "baby daddy's," on welfare, on section 8, work low end jobs, are quick to be disrespectful in public, sleep with another woman's man or husband and then want to fight her, but are the first ones to have Jordan's on their feet as well as their 4 kids feet, along with a iPad, the newest iPhone and that exotic Malaysian hair that cost around $300-$400 for 4 bundles (usually the amount you need to cover a full head.)

Do you see what I see? The priorities of colored woman are ass backwards!!!

A black female child was thrown around like a rag doll because she was disrespectful to a teacher, a school administrator and the police officer and society feels her being an orphan is an excuse to disrespect authority!!! Let me ask a question, and think on it very well before you answer. If your child was told to put a phone away, what would you expect your child to do? Bad mouth authority or kindly respect the wishes of the authority figure? 
If my mother had passed as well as my grandmother and YOU were an authority figure to me and I ignored you and any higher authority you called, would you think my behavior is OK? What would have you done? 
Growing up I knew better than to disrespect the teacher, because my mom would have beat my ass if she knew I was acting a fool in school. But I guess all of you on the student's side was allowed to act anyway you want and your parents would have not cared you failed to listen 3x. The last I check it was said: Three strikes and your out, and her ass got laid out!!! 

Meanwhile, Raven-Symone has a petition out against her because she said she wouldn't hire someone with a ghetto name. Well damn, me either. Starkeisha better have a appropriate middle name to put on that resume. Like really, nobody can have an opinion without someone get offended. A name says a lot and Starkeisha says uhhhhh I don't really want to hire you, unless your work skills out do the naming skills your mother/father/ or parents had. 

What people fail to realize a name like that says: 
1. Low Income Home 2. Single Parent Home 3. Raised in Poverty and probably has an attitude and 4. Most likely raised on Welfare. 
I know I don't want someone with a ghetto name acting ghetto while presenting my brand!!!

Which do you portray yourself as? Ghetto or Class.

A picture says a thousand words, what words do you want said about you??? 

We have to do better!!!

We as females especially Black females need to be better teachers. The youth are getting worse. Babies born constantly out of wedlock, lack of respect for a female, lack of respect for the men, people taking advantage of the system and passing the schemes to their children, morals being neglected, greed over loyalty, lack of love for God, females thinking its OK to give their precious piece of a vagina to guys without valuing themselves. 

We need to rise up! Teach the importance of respect, education, self-love, morals, love, being positive, loyalty and thinking out of the box. 

I know woman who have kids and instead of teaching a better way for their children, they are more focused on being with a man and a man that doesn't even treat them like a queen. A Queen is something a woman should value herself as,because that's what she is. A female will focus on running the streets rather than whats going on in her own home. I know woman that will be with a man for years and have 2, 3 + kids with them and think it is OK just to be the girlfriend. HELLO, if he loves you that much to be with you and have you mess up your body to bear his kids you should be good enough to his Queen, rocking that royal crown of marriage. I rather be a wife rather than a baby mom. However, if you think being a baby mom is a prize you need to re-evaluate how you feel about yourself, last I checked nobody wants a half of anything they want 100% of everything. We have to teach our children!!! Nobody wants 50 when they can get 100!!! 

A female will sit on Facebook going HAM on another female, meanwhile her baby daddy is beating her ass, she is being a side piece or can barely pay her bills. All the while your kids are observing everything you do. A kid will know all the word to COCO by O.T. Genasis but can't tie their damn shoe laces...like Hello where are the parenting skills???

Mainly these issues are more prominent in minority communities, making us a easy target for statistics, being prone to violence and insecurities within yourselves passing down to our children. 
I have never heard no other race of mothers call their daughter B*tch in public or "Shut the (bleep) up," when in the supermarket. If i'm of color and I look down on a female who does it imagine how a white woman who is married, has a beautiful home can afford more than is looking down upon your ass. Then you probably saying "(Bleep) that white (bleep)...she needs to mind her (bleeping) business," but you know you care deep down or otherwise you wouldn't have even mentioned what you think she is feeling or even cared if she put her nose up!!!

I know nothing i'm saying will probably touch your heart, your probably reading this thinking I throwing subliminal shots or how dare I say that or what nerve I have. If you are thinking that you are one insecure female and I hope at least you get the point of building love for yourself up and teach your children.  

SIDE NOTE: All men don't cheat, so stop telling yourself that to pacify the fact your man is cheating on you. I know it sounds good when you can involve others into your misery but uhhh NO, you need to value yourself more and you will then find a man that will value you and love you the way you want. Put out, what you want to get back.

PEACE

My Broken Heart is Ready for Healing.

This is hard for me and has been for a long time.

I was involved with Don P* for 5 years but more exclusive for 2 1/2 years. Don and I worked together and I remember the first time I saw him  my heart melted and I still don't know what it was but I do know he smelt so good, wearing Armani.
He introduced himself to me and told me his birthday was December 9th and not to forget his gift, meanwhile we were in September. I realized he was somewhat arrogant but I loved it. A confident man is a woman's dream.

As time went on we became friendly and what I loved about it was that we had this chemistry and nobody knew that we spoke and texted. I wasn't looking for nothing with him, just to be friends.
My cousin was getting married the next month and I took a gamble and invited him to be my date and he accepted. We went and everyone thought he was my boyfriend giving us complements until I had to break the news that we were just friends and worked together. During the reception someone called and told him his brother was in some beef, so I had to go drop him off the city. When he was leaving we kissed which caught me off guard. However, I just went with it.

Months passed and we would text each other during work and go meet each other outside for daily make out sessions, this lasted for 2 months until he told me we couldn't talk or be around each other anymore. See, Don P supposedly had a girlfriend who's friend was our co-worker and she was watching us. Later, it came out the co-worker was the girlfriend but she had a boyfriend.
In 2007, Don got fired from the job. I would hit him up on Myspace on his birthday and on New Years, however, I never got a return message.

Then one day in 2008 he hit me up on Myspace and exchanged numbers. In June 2008 we saw each other again, he attempted to sex me but yeah I wasn't for it. For 2 weeks I didn't speak to him then one day he called me and I answered and we lasted for from July 2008 - April 2011.  We were together 5x out of a week,  as I am writing this I am crying my remaining feelings out. At first having titles or stating our relationship was irrelevant. I just loved being around him and able to just be Raleena. I thought we were just a perfect fit, we never argued, we did have disagreements and I cried sometimes but I never raised my voice to him, never cursed him out. We went on trips, walked on the beach at night and just spoke about life, it was a beautiful time in my life as far as being with another individual. Something I longed for with someone and I got it. He accepted me when I was sick, when I was sad, happy and crazy.

For those that know me, yeah I want the married life and I thought I found my soul mate.
One day he tells me he was moving from the Bronx to Queens, I was upset because I knew we wouldn't be together anymore everyday. We started seeing each other every other weekend, but we still called and texted everyday.

Then it happened.

One Saturday I went over his place, I woke up the the next morning and I felt a bad feeling, like our chemistry was off. I was already having feelings that he might have been seeing someone so with that thought in my head and what I was feeling at that moment, I just got up kissed him goodbye and never looked back, despite him calling I just let it go and I know he felt it.
I saw him 6 months after that, he tried speaking to me and I ignored him and I sent him a text afterwards telling him, "he was a chapter in my life that is now over and it was now time for a new chapter and I will always love him. '

2014, he had a baby and got married, and  being a female I had a fake page and requested the girl, comparing myself to her constantly. My mind has been going crazy because I loved him and I feel I was suppose to have him baby and be his wife. I regret everyday I walked away asking myself why? Why didn't I communicate with him? Why didn't I ask questions? Why didn't I tell him how I really felt.

Seeing that this relationship damaged me, I try to push fast and forward with others leading to disaster only because I'm scared. I don't want to loose anyone again because I was comfortable with what we were doing put years in just to have one of us just to walk away, never having closure.

Lately, I have been wanting someone in my life, just to have a conversation with, fun with, no judgement and acceptance. However, my feeling for how I felt with Don effect that. I had to realize that next individual is not him and I to unfriend the wife on the FB page since I am torturing myself being nosy, making me miserable. Feelings in the heart can be dangerous and can overwhelm a person but if your weak or unhappy. Any person who can get over a broken heart in a descent amount of time is my hero and I am ready to join the hero team.
He will always be my first love, but he is a love that has come and is time to let go.

*Names has been changed

Can sex overrule feelings of disgust?

I believe sex is suppose to be sacred between two people who LOVE each other, unfortunately today everybody just sex's anybody or anything for a NUT! Just because I believe the above doesn't mean I have followed my own beliefs and I have been thinking about why is it someone you don't want can make you feel so good sexually.
Everyone that knows me, knows i'm very open when it comes to sex. Sex can be good but have you ever felt guilty when you organism? Has the person that made you cum someone you really weren't into but they made your body feel awesome?
It has happened to me.
I continually went back for that person to make my body feel that way, but felt disgusted afterwards (like yuck, wth was I thinking) all the time. Ugh then I have gotten that person I don't want to be in a relationship with open off of me.
Well yes, shit happens.
But what makes us as human beings not resist sexual temptation to those we aren't attracted to?

A new study suggests that feelings of sexual arousal may serve to override our disgust impulses. The results suggest that sexual arousal may at least partly diminish feelings of disgust, thereby allowing us to do things during sex that we might find unappealing in other contexts.
In another study it was revealed that just because someone isn't attracted to their partner, it doesn't mean that their body physically shuts down. You may not think your partner is hot, but if they touch you in the right way, you’re probably going to respond.

I can definitely understand this, a touch, a smell and or a look can make someone feel some sort of sexual feeling. I have gotten open off a person that smelled good and brush by me. I have gotten aroused by a touch by someone I don't even know. I have gotten aroused if I sleep a certain way nd I know I am not the only one,  but why? Why does it seem that are genitals are in charge of the body at times?

"Sexual desire is an extraordinarily complicated part of life and there is an enormous range of difference,'' said Harold Lief, an emeritus professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania 

If our brains are so smart why do they let us attach to people who might not be so great for us? Catherine Salmon, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Redlands, says the answer might have something to do with oxytocin, that very same chemical that creates those feelings of warmth and security.

“Oxytocin is not only released during birth and breastfeeding but also during orgasm,as a result, you feel more attached to the guy who you shared that orgasm with, which is great if he's a good mate choice," otherwise, it will suck for you as it sucks for me. 

She also stated "he may be a good lover but poor mate material, and yet you'll be attached to him in the bed and perhaps stick with him longer than you should.”

With that being said the only thing I do is make sure I take control of the lady downstairs, it is harder then it sounds but I guess finding things you love to distract you sexually is the best advice to give oneself

Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion

Tonight's Real Housewives of Atlanta was just the beginning of the 3 show airing and the heat was only on warm, I can't wait until the the kitchen get all the way hot.

First of all I have to give it to Kandi Burruss she was letting Nene leakes know what it is, with her "Superior stank-ass attitude."

Nene, honey just because you have been on Glee and your on Broadway don't walk around like your sh*t don't stank, because I can smell it all the way over here in New Jersey. You talk like you didn't come from the bottom because you did - the bottom of that strip pole you were once on, so you need to humble yourself a little more, calm yourself down!

The alliances have changed. It seems Kandi is now down with Cynthia, Kenya and Claudia crew now, since we see how far up Nene's ass Phaedra and Porsha are.

I did love Porsha's hair though, I must say that hair was LAIDDDDD, honey!!!

Cynthia's hair however, was like a semi curl bush that had bird's nest in it ...idk but it was a mess if you ask me.

Ummmm Claudia, I wasn't feeling her at first but now she comes off to me like a little chihuahua, she is always barking but she will bite. The only words the lovely ladies have for Claudia and Kenya is that they are whores, but as classy and educated as Nene, Phaedra and Porsha claim to be you would think they would know more words.

As black women these women should have a little more class. Kenya did talk about a valid point of forgiveness despite the fact she is quick to talk about people and be a bully (IE: Brandi Granville). Forgiveness is what mature grown women do who are about their business. Kenya did look cute tonight but she is a constant trouble maker as well. I'm surprised her and Nene aren't besties they both love a pity party and love to stir things up.

Well next Sunday, I'm so looking forward to more tea from these lovely ladies.

Blac Chyna is Desperate

So, apparently Blac Chyna put screen shots up of Tyga wanting to be with her and their son while he is allegedly dating Kylie Jenner.
Blac Chyna has been throwing alot of hate on 17 year old Kylie on instagram. Poking at Kylies injected lips however, Chyna has a injected butt. I'm not a Kardashian fan but when will Blac Chyna move on. Tyga just got Kylie's name tattooed on his arm, obviously he is not sweating his baby mother but she can't get over the fact he has moved on.
I feel sorry for Ms. Blac Chyna wasting so much of her precious time hating on a minor. You own some lash company but you have alot of time on your hands to focus on Kylie and Tyga's relationship. 
BTW, next time you screen shot messages make sure we can see date of when its from and I seriously doubt you have Tyga stored in your phone as King's Father. How do we really know it's him? Girl stop seeking attention